are you a business lover or a hopeful lover: relationship wisdom, from dr. heart (guest blogger)

dear readers,

in honor of the day, i’ve invited one of my fav bloggers to “political” to give us his perspective on love.

dr. heart, the stage is yours.

thank you political poet. my name is dr. heart.  sometimes, a little bit of guidance can go a long way. did you know that valentines day is named after religious martyrs who died for their beliefs?  the word “martyr,” in its greek root, means: witness. today, i’d like to bear witness to a common love issue i see around me.  i’m going to put it real simple, but try not to think of the equation as good vs. bad.  its more, apples vs. oranges.  let’s dig in, shall we?

relationship wisdom, by dr. heart:

there are people who simply want to be in a relationship. it matters less to these people who they are with and more that they are with someone. let’s call these folks: business lovers.

there are also people who seek and believe in true love. let’s call these folks: hopeful lovers.

sometimes business lovers and hopeful lovers end up together. hopeful lovers work towards love, while business lovers work towards staying in the relationship. the difference between the two will become clear when, one day, tired of feeling hungry at a paltry table of love, the hopeful lover will try to leave the relationship.

which kicks the business lover into high gear.  they will spin around the kitchen, putting on a show of making you all your favorite dishes.  the food is extra sweet, dripping with butter, and ocean salty.  but it is not nourishing in the long run.

by design, it will be hard for the hopeful lover to leave when the business lover feeds them cotton candy hope.  peep game: while the business lover may be of low aim, they are not of low intelligence.  the business lover will know they got a full meal when all they paid for was a snack.  they will hold on to the unearned prize of you for dear life. not because they are evil, but because the business love knows they may never get a deal this good again.

when the hopeful lover begins to drift, the business lover’s organizational mission is to hold on until you are strung out again in love. once the hopeful lover is securely reseated at the table, they will get treated like a snack, again. which is simply all the business lover ordered in the first place.

hopeful lover, leave this bare bones table. shed a life of broken expectations. believe when they show you who they are.  go, find another hungry sky. for there are others with abundant tables of love.

maybe the business lover will break the glass ceiling of low expectations and empty love calories.

perhaps this your will become an eternal banquet of love.

but this will not happen without a clean break.  the business lover needs the incentive of you, gone.

hopeful lover, you have to embody, live in, breath in the high love expectations of your own dreams. model self confidence, model hope.

maybe your ex will see that its possible and shift towards abundance.  don’t put your life on hold waiting for this to happen.  just be observant.  the business lover will never change, unless they themselves are able to begin again.

we all deserve love.  go out and find the hearts that call with a song like yours.

thank you.

dr. heart will be available to answer any love related questions you have. thank you for stopping by doctor. and now, some valentines day love poems from yours truly, political poet.


love poem #1

/simple love


a rain

drenched sky

/simple love

a name

the fame

don’t lie

/simple love

sun slice

tie dye

try or die


love poem #2: for miggedy-mac, my boo

i guess i dont write

no light hearted

valentimes poem

but baby i write

and i build us a home


stay tuned for more, from your fav political poet, roopa singh.




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7 thoughts on “are you a business lover or a hopeful lover: relationship wisdom, from dr. heart (guest blogger)

  1. jedi says:

    Dr. Heart. What if u were taught to be a business lover, but are truly a hopeful lover…how do u shed the mask u have learned to become the soft beating heart we all really are? And also, I already got my wife v-day gifts, but I wanna do something super special for her, something that would fill her with joy. Any ideas? Thanks dr heart!

    • naxal says:

      dear jedi, thank you for your thoughtful comment. let me tell you what i’m thinking. “taught to be:” hmm, sounds like someone is still learning how to take responsibility for who they are as an adult. i understand what its like to have deeply embedded life practices that: 1. seem to show up out of no where, and 2. aren’t helpful. but jedi, at some point its less about how you are taught, and more about how you roll now. does that make sense? “shed the mask:” sounds to me like you are already on a path, already cutting through life layers that told you to expect less and need more from external sources than internal sources. kudos to you. “super special” gift for your wife: i’ve always thought that the best gifts come from blending what you know that woman loves with what you know you have capacity for (time and money). creative gifts, beautiful gifts, adventurous gifts, the gift of a whole and happy you-whatever you choose, your deep intention behind it will show.

  2. Selena says:

    HAPPY LOVE DAY to both you “political poet”, and “dr. love”. I am new to the Blog scene and chose this day and these words to be my first comment. Your poems are FANTASTIC, and moved me to do so. I invite you both to please leave a comment in one (or all) of the 3 categories on my Blog: Talkin’ All That (no the 3 “Z’s” are not a typo :>), as you both are the “like-minded” individuals I seek here, and the inspiration (if you will) for my decision to join the Blogging population.

    I look forward to future exchanges.

    • naxal says:

      happy queen of hearts day to you too. and congratulations on getting your own blog! i love that my writing, and the writing of my guest bloggers, could inspire. i mean, honestly, isn’t that the whole point? 🙂 keep writing, i know i will.

  3. Tiffany Rose says:

    Is there a category for folks who embody both business and hopeful qualities? I think people can at times be both and simultaneously.

    • naxal says:

      yes, absolutely. which is why its more like apples and oranges than good vs. evil. look, most of us are a blend of fruits, orange with a little bit of mango, apple with a bit of cranberry. but careful observation has convinced me that folks in these kinds of business/hopeful lover relationships tend to lean more to one side than the other. if you are the type to embody both, and your partner is too, you’d need to allow that hopeful lover inside a chance to feast. feast on the cultural arts, feast on doing something new in the city you’ve lived in for 8 years. tend to the hopeful lover, and try not to judge the business lover. hope that’s helpful. best, dr. love

  4. Anyway, you have an interesting take on this topic. I’d love it if you updated this blog on a more regular basis! By the way, do you allow your readers to send in topics they want to personally ask you about? Actually I have a question on this subject since I am suffering through a tricky situation with a girl I like and I am not sure how to proceed. I’d really like to get your comments…or maybe someone can recommend a book that I ought to check out?

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