my hair is still drying from doing yoga on the roof in the rain, monsoon cleans out the brain, here in ahmedabad the peacocks be calling my name. you can call me the love doctor. you’ve seen me here before. this post is on cheating.
being in india means everyone wants to school me on what it means to be indian, they think because i was born and raised in the states, that i know nothing about humara sanskar, our traditions. they don’t realize that traditions are specially preserved in the diasopra. like snapshots, slices of love that last.
no matter where you’re from, if you believe in love, faith is an issue you are bound to encounter. traveling through india, i’ve been staying with mad different couples. i recently stayed with an adorable couple in their late 30’s, who seem happy. but even a few hours with the husband revealed that he cheats chronically. truth be told, he would have fucked me in his own home, wife and kids there and everything, i could see the eager in his pose. made me sick.
this fellow feels a right to play his wife, he has convinced himself that everybody does it, i think he actually believes that he and his wife have an agreement. of course, he’s never had the balls to tell her straight up whats going on. of course, she’s known all along. you could tell by the way she bends him in half with guilt, see the glare off the hilt of her squint, she’s watching him talk to me. his phone is ringing off the hook with abbreviated names: 10 missed calls from “so,” 5 unanswered texts from “r.” along with the names cut in half come spirits severed. mainly, he is cheating himself.
i recently came across a concept: deathlessness. the state of un-decay. the choice to live in every way. only so much time in a day. so why waste it on such hypocrisy. while you are building a barricade of lies around your soul, your body is growing old, your spirit covered with mold. so what are you scared of. what do the lies protect you from? yourself?
when i was a young girl, i had to protect myself, but i didn’t know how. so i dug a moat around the castle of my body, a moat of flesh, fat. my body had decided for me that we would take this measure to protect ourselves. it didn’t work. so now, i’m letting it go. my castle deserves to be seen. plus, i want to be deathless in my life practice. i dont want to hide anymore. i feel like people who cheat are also hiding. they are guided in conscious and unconscious ways by the urges of their body to wrap themselves in lies. meanwhile, they watch their lives pass them by, wondering why their dreams get unzipped like their flies.
im not saying don’t cheat. im not trying to judge. im just saying, if you are hiding and you no longer know why, maybe its time to try something new. like cleaning yourself out from the inside of your soul to the outside of your body. i’m doing it, you can too.
stay tuned for more, from india.
the love doctor